I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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