u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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