and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
