Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
