Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He passed out mid-signature
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Randomize
