my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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