we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
