That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
