You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She bit a glass in half.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
