yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
