Your tits are I can't wait for
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
We need a shit load of segways right now
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize