I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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