Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
