2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
