My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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