So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
