I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
