i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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