is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
