erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My vagina is officially offended.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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