oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
