i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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