so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
