I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I have feelings that need drinking.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
