It was confusing and full of hummus
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
