I just saw a hot homeless man
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
