Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
