the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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