We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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