And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I have feelings that need drinking.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
