he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize