he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
