you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
