i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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