don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
