Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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