he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
