This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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