The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
