hotel room ftw
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
