This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
