So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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