I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm bleeding and have questions
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
