I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Randomize
