Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
