He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
