I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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