do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
