It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
