My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
