i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
