My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize