Define "chronic" masturbator.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
