Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize