if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
