Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
only if we run a train.
done.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize