Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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