i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
