You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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