My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
