Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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