forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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